got no one to love me and lay down w/ me when i need it
yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me
so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself.
no but what pisses me off is when parents dont let boys and girls hang out as friends like especially when it comes to sleepovers
like no i dont want his dick in me i want to sit on my floor and throw board game pieces at him when i lose
finally someone said it
Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?
Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.
Being internet smart is like the 21st century version of being street smart.
Okay Dad, these are the websites you use to watch your show.
Sockshare, Putlocker, gorillavid, nosvideo and novamov are your friends, stick to them and you know you’re okay.
DO NOT click on anything that wants you to download updates or DivX.
DO NOT click on adverts on the side.
And be very cautious of fake play buttons.
You are ready. Go forth and watch Dexter.